on the outside looking in

I've been fascinated with blogs for the past several months. I credit an old friend with whom I recently became reacquainted for introducing me to the world of blogs, particularly the world of stay-at-home-mother (SAHM) blogs, a world which I previously had no idea existed. I don't know why I've been finding SAHMs so interesting, but I have.

To be a SAHM must be rewarding in some ways, and dreadful in others. I think of my sister and sisters-in-law, all of whom are bright, well-educated, SAHMs. They spend each day with my nieces and nephews, teaching them, playing with them and taking care of their needs. Their children are their focus. These must be the rewarding aspects of the SAHM life. On the other hand, I can't help but wonder if they aren't bored senseless. Being with the kids all day while dad is at work surely means that there are often few opportunities to interact with other adults. Private time is likely non-existent, a fading memory from a distant, childless past. Peace and quiet? I can't imagine they're too plentiful, either. When I was a kid, my mom would sometimes lock herself in her room and not come out for hours. Decades later, I think I understand why.

I'm convinced that blogs are an outlet for the bored SAHM. Conversations that couldn't happen in "real" life are made possible through random posts and pictures. There is likely joy and excitement when someone leaves a comment (I certainly get excited about it when I get comments on my blog, to be honest). Hours are spent living through other SAHMs and their families.

I can only speculate on what this all feels like, and what it all means. My assumptions about SAHMs and their blogs could be entirely wrong. After all, I'm a guy with no children--what do I know? I will never be a mother, and will likely never be in a position where I'll be caring for children all day long, waiting for my wife to come home from work. I know what it's like to be bored, though. I know what it's like to watch the clock with one eye and to stare out the window with the other, wishing I was someone and somewhere else. Maybe that's part of the SAHM experience as well.

I've read and heard men complaining about the SAHM blog phenomenon. Some think blogs are stupid. Others think they're a waste of time, especially when they think that SAHMs should be busy being mothers, not surfing the internet and writing posts that arguably few people care about. When I think about what it must be like to be a SAHM, however, I can easily see how blogging might become an important, if not vital aspect of the SAHM life. Whatever time is "wasted" on blogging is easily forgiven, in my opinion.

Being a SAHM is, in my mind, a personal sacrifice. It's hard to describe a job that requires that you spend your time caring for someone else as anything else. On top of that, SAHMs don't seem to get that much respect in our society. It doesn't take a college degree to be a SAHM (though I think it would be great if all SAHMs had them), and being a SAHM isn't going to get anyone a high-powered job, big house or fancy car anytime soon. Considering these things, it isn't any wonder that many SAHMs seem to live vicariously through the accomplishments of their husbands and children.

When I started this post, I intended to talk about something completely different, but ended up here instead. I'm not sure why, but it probably has something to do with the fact that I've gained a lot of respect for SAHMs this year. Blog away, mothers.