join us on the dark side

People strong in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.

You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won't allow it. Somehow you can't quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that
no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one's sense of humor.

Unlike many companies, employees in my company are supposed to focus on what they're good at, rather than the areas in which they are deficient, when working on their development plans and performance reviews. In order to assist us in discovering what we're good at, each of us must take a sort of personality test called StrengthsFinder. The StrengthsFinder test will tell the employee how high or low 34 different themes (kind of like personality traits) rank for that employee. Each employee's top five themes are called "signature themes".

Positivity, the theme described above, is my 34th theme. Being positive, at least, as described above, is not really a part of who I am. And, as far as the StrengthsFinder test goes, it's not that I'm low in positivity--it's just that I'm stronger in 33 other areas. At least, that's how I like to joke about it to friends when the subject comes up.

I don't look at negativity as the opposite of positivity. What some people might call negativity is what I call reality. Bad things happen. No one has a perfect life. I truly believe that life was not meant to be perfect. If bad things never happened, it would be difficult for any of us to know or express what the difference was between good and bad.

If you believe this, then you realize that there is no positive without negative. That being the case, I've never understood it when people have tried to repress negativity. Suppression of negativity seems to be a common thing in the world of blogging, especially SAHM blogging. I frequently read posts in which people say things like:

"I shouldn't be so negative."

"I haven't been very happy lately, so I've been avoiding writing, since I only want to be uplifting."

"Since I can't say anything nice, I won't say anything at all."

"I'm struggling to be more positive."

You get the picture. Personally, I've always been highly suspicious of people who chase positivity as if it were the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Again, no one has a perfect life--rich or poor, famous or unknown, powerful or weak. The negative things that we experience are not only a part of life, but they contribute as much to our lives as the positive things, if not more. You rarely hear anyone talk about how much they learned or grew coming out of a positive experience. It's the hard times, the stress, the pain, the suffering and the adversity that really teach us, that really shape who we are...if we don't run away from them, that is.

I've been fascinated by the topic of leadership ever since I took my first managerial position shortly after I returned to BYU from HK in 1999. Over the years, I've learned that authenticity is key to great leadership. A good leader must motivate, and positivity and optimism are especially helpful in motivating people. That said, the authentic leader also doesn't shy away from the negative. Sometimes the truth is negative. It's ugly. Many of us run from the truth, at least, from time to time. People like this kind of authenticity from their leaders. They need it.

I can think of few better ways to build one's credibility than to be honest. Being honest means that sometimes you're going to be overflowing with optimism and positivity, and other times you're going to tell people what it's like to walk through the shadow of the valley of death. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If people are truly your friends, they will celebrate the happy times and commiserate with you in the sad times anyway. If they can't handle the negative, then you know what kind of friend they really are.

I believe that not having an overly positive personality has also given me the gift of seeing what's wrong with everything around me. Some people might say that's a serious personality defect. For me, however, it's something totally different, because I always have an idea in my head about how to make right what's wrong, and to fix what's broken. I'm more than just a complainer; I'm a repairman. I probably always will be. That doesn't mean that I'm purely negative, however. In my opinion, to have perfection in mind and to believe it can be achieved is a form of pure optimism, a utopian ideal. And that is definitely me.

So, embrace negativity, I say. Don't just show other people what you want them to see. Nobody believes you or your life are perfect anyway.