waking the dead

When the little lady went out last night, she found an envelope marked “private” stuck in our door. There was a letter inside, and it read as follows:

Howdy neighbors…it’s xxxx and xxxx, and we were hoping you could help us with a little something we have been trying to deal with. Unfortunately, we are all aware that our connecting walls are not as soundproof as any of us would have hoped. Thus far I believe we have all been open to the occasional noises that occur, and have been receptive to each other if we felt the level was beyond our own comfort. Saying this then makes writing this note rather awkward, as we are having a problem with a noise we hear from your home on an almost nightly basis…it’s your snoring. I have thought about writing this note for quite some time, but in truth, I was worried about embarrassing or offending you. When it comes to someone’s snoring, how do you bring up the topic? We just figured though, that if you were having the same issue on your side of the wall, we would like to know and to hopefully be able to fix it. Almost every night, in an attempt to block the noise coming through the wall, we run a humidifier, two fans, and a white noise machine. However, none of this has really helped, so last week we moved our furniture so our bed would not be on the connecting wall…but again to no avail. We are hoping that there is something you could diffuse the sounds we hear.

Snoring can be a very personal issue, and we meant no disrespect in writing this note. We did, however, feel that it was important to let you know how this affects us, and what we have done in an attempt to deal with the situation.

If there is anything you can do to help with this issue, we would truly appreciate your efforts.

Thank you,

Most sincerely,

xxxx and xxxx


Can you believe Becca’s snoring is that loud? Wow...

Actually, I’ve known about my snoring problem for a long time. Becca occasionally mentions it, but I think she’s mostly gotten used to it and can sleep through whatever I dish out. Other people, however, have apparently not been so fortunate.

Maybe it’s a family problem. My mom snores so loudly that she and my dad no longer sleep in the same room. When I was in high school, I could hear it in the street when I came home late at night. My parents didn’t have the shortest driveway, either.

The last time I was in China, I was on a BYU study abroad program. One weekend, my classmates and I decided to take a trip to nearby Anhui Province to climb Huangshan (“yellow mountain”), a very famous and picturesque mountain in central China.



The climb wasn’t horribly strenuous, but it did take a few hours and left us all really tired. We had decided to rent cheap hotel rooms—one for the guys and one for the ladies—at the top of the mountain so that we could spend the night at the top and catch the sunrise the following morning. The rooms were DIRT cheap—there was no running water or bathroom inside, and there several bunk beds in each room. When night came, I selected the top bunk by the door and quickly fell asleep. When morning came, several of my classmates and the American professor that came with us grumbled about not being able to sleep very well. One guy was particularly upset, and yelled:

“Who the hell was snoring all night long?!?”

Hmmm…I have no idea.

Anyway, I guess I’ll have to try a few things to help out my neighbors. I used a nasal strip last night, and Becca said it helped some. I don’t think we’ll move our furniture around, as that would make our room really awkward. The best thing I can do, really, is to go on a diet. Becca has commented that when I’ve dieted in the past, I’ve almost completely stopped snoring. Kind of odd, but I guess it makes sense. A diet has been in the game plan for a while now, so maybe I should get started earlier than the post-holiday start date I’ve given myself.

Until then, no one is safe from my wrath. Not even people on the other side of the wall.