the luau, the wedding and the white man in me

Currently listening to Depeche Mode - Playing the Angel

On this night, seven years ago, a luau was held in our honor. A large, eclectic mix of Samoan, quasi-Chinese and American food was laid out for our guests. A band performed, Becca and her relatives danced traditional Samoan dances, and my side of the family and our friends jumped in awkwardly as appropriate.



I'm no dancer, and as such, there are few times in my life when I have felt as white as I did on that night, but the night went well. We were happy that so many friends and relatives came, and we had a good time. It wasn't meant to be a wedding reception, but it ended up feeling like one because far more people came to it than our actual reception, which was held the following evening.

We were married and had our reception in the Springville Art Museum in Springville, UT. It wasn't a particularly nice place, but it was cheap and it met our needs. Well, almost. You see, I have a strong need for air conditioning, and it had none. Utah isn't a place you want to be in July with no air conditioning.



Our ceremony was short, sweet and lightly attended. We didn't invite many people to the ceremony. I don't like being the center of attention, and most of our close friends didn't come for various reasons.

The ceremony was performed by the bishop of Becca's ward (church congregation) in Springville. He talked for what seemed like an eternity. It probably wasn't that long, but since I would have settled for a wham-bam-thank you, ma'am-style wedding in Las Vegas, I wasn't particularly interested in what he had to say.



Because we had had a luau the night before, the reception turnout was really light. In fact, I've never seen so few people at a wedding reception. It was kind of sad, and in a way, I felt like a loser. I usually don't really need people around me, but I wished that more of my friends from BYU would have attended. Probably a good choice on their part, though. They didn't have to suffer in the heat. Notice how our faces look rather shiny.



July 28, 2001 was a long day. Weddings are tiring affairs, even when you're the person getting married and have people helping you out with everything. We were tired by the end of the day, and thus our day ended with a whimper. We stopped by McDonald's on the way to a bed and breakfast in nearby Provo, where we would spend the next couple of nights. We ate burgers and fries for dinner, and then spent a little time in the large bathtub in the room. That was what our "honeymoon" was like, because there really was no honeymoon. I had a new job and my hag of a manager wouldn't give me any time off for the wedding. In fact, just to go to the wedding, she made me make up all the time I needed to take off before I left. A compassionate woman and model leader, to be sure.

Becca looked beautiful at the wedding. I'm not the sentimental type, but I keep a picture of her in her wedding dress on my desk at work. It's a great picture, and people frequently tell me so. I don't have a digital copy of it to show you, so I'll just show you another picture of us that was taken right before the ceremony.



We've been married seven years, and together almost nine years. That's a long time, but it really doesn't feel that long. We were young when we got married (she was 19, and I was not quite 25), so we've grown up and changed a lot in the time.

We've experienced a lot of ups and downs. We've taken wonderful trips to places in the continental U.S., Hawaii and the Mediterranean. We've tried lots of new restaurants and cuisines. We've gained weight, lost weight, and gained it back again. Well, that's mostly just me.

We've been through tough times, too. Like all couples, we've fought and argued. We've been to marriage counseling, and we even separated for a month last year. We still disagree on religion and whether or not to have children. Even then, I think the worst is behind us. We're still learning how to adjust to each other's differences, but there is mutual respect between us and a desire to make things succeed despite the seemingly large divide between us.

If ever there was a couple that gave real meaning to the idea that opposites attract, we are it. I'm motivated by thoughts and ideas, where Becca is motivated by feelings. She thrives on having lots of people around, entertaining them and making them feel comfortable. I can count on one hand the number of times I've invited friends over since we've been together, and dream of having a large compound in the middle of nowhere and surrounding it with a vast minefield. I'm the skeptic, and she's the believer. She loves to share, and I loathe the idea of people touching my stuff.

We're an odd couple, but we're a team, and we're more a team now than we were when we got married. We actually talk to each other way more than we did before we got married and in the early years of our marriage. We're more honest and open with each other, and we exchange more ideas. Most importantly, I believe we love each other more than we did when we got married.